So then my Guinea Pigs tried to mount each other..

So last night, I heard my Guinea Pigs scream bloody murder, and I ran into their room to see what the Hell had happened and to see if I had won my bet that the small white one would die first just because the other one was so big and could probably eat it, and when I got there my love was sitting there horrified because Joseph (the multicoloured one) was making mating noises and trying to mount Paul (the white one), and Paul was freaking out like GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, I’M NOT A HOMOSEXUAL and Joseph kept with the mating noises, possibly trying to get Paul to feel all sexy, and I just sat there laughing, and my love was like “you know it’s really not that funny” and then all of a sudden they tried to battle it out Game of Thrones styles, and it was so messed up, I had to separate them because I had just cleaned their sheets, and blood is really hard to get out and I really didn’t want to do any laundry.

Update: My love says this blogpost is not funny at all and then said something about “not inhaling” and I was like “you know, that’s the key to giving a blowjob – don’t inhale – because it smells gross” and then I suggested that we Google “don’t inhale” in guinea pig language so we could at least help Paul out a little and my love looked at me like I was the one who was crazy. At least I was trying to help the situation.

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Philly Cheesesteaks and all that Goodness

My favourite diner go-to food is probably the Philly Cheesesteak. I mean, steak, onions, mushrooms and cheese – how could you possibly go wrong? Montreal is not really big on Philly Cheesesteaks, or if it is, I don’t know where to go, and if you do know a place, please tell me in the comments below. Anyway, I decided to make one today, and it was SO good that – well no, it was just SO good.

What you’ll need:
- Steak (I don’t actually remember what cut I bought (I went to Costco, saw some steak, threw it in the cart, cut it up when I got home, and that was about it. Um. use what you like)
- Yellow Onion
- Mushrooms (I used Portobellos)
- Steak Spice
- Salt
- Butter
- Olive Oil
- Some sort of Baguette like bread. I used Ciabatta.

Directions:

Make sure your knife is seriously sharp. If you don’t sharpen it, this will never work and you’ll end up with thick pieces of steak, and it’s just not the same effect. When your knife is sharp, slice the beautiful piece of steak into really thin pieces. Kind of like this:

Place the meat into a bowl and marinate it in olive oil, salt and lots and lots of Steak Spice (for those who don’t have steak spice, see here for the list of spices).

Next, cut the onion into thin slices. You don’t need a whole onion. I just used 1/4, but my onion was also huge – like it was suspiciously genetically modified. Maybe I’ll get cancer.

Then slice the mushrooms.

In a pan, add some olive oil and some butter – yes both – it’s a Philly Cheesesteak. If you’re going to eat it, you gotta eat it the proper way – with the grease and all.

Add the onions and let the cook for a while on medium heat (or high heat depending on how hot your stove is) – I used to have to cook it on high heat when I had one of those stoves with the burners that are like under some sort of layer and doesn’t really get hot.. and you’re kind of like, well what is the point of this stove? Now I have a proper stove, and it gets the proper amount of hot and so I have to cook everything on medium heat or it burns).

When the onions are cooked and transparentish, add in the mushrooms, some more Steak Spice, and just a small splash of beef broth so that the mushrooms get soft. I also think it speeds up the process of cooking just a little bit, but I’m not sure. Let the mushrooms and the onions soak up the beef broth, and add the sliced steak. Mix it for 2 minutes making sure to not overcook the beef. I cooked it until it was medium rare and turned of the heat. The beef will continue to cook after you turn off the heat so don’t worry if you’re one of those people afraid of undercooked beef.

Cut open your bread – I used Ciabatta Bread. You can use a Baguette, or really any type of bread will do. I guess you can also used slice bread although I would assume that it would not taste as good. Toast your bread. You can add some butter to the bread, but I didn’t because there’s enough butter in the steak.


Add in your steak, mushrooms and onions. Add some cheese – I shredded some swiss and cheddar on it. You can also take slices of Cheese (Swiss tastes better), line the bottom of your bread, and then add the steak.

Let the cheese melt into the steak and then eat.

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Peanut Butter Nutella Cookies

I’m the classiest girl in the world when it comes to Nutella and Peanut Butter. Like, I will just sit there and spoon out Nutella from the jar, dip it into the peanut butter, eat it, and dip my spoon back in and do it all over again. It used to disgust my mom, and she’d be like “HOW IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO EAT FROM THAT JAR AGAIN?!” and she’ll go out and get new jars of peanut butter and Nutella, except that I’ll do the same thing with those ones. She basically can’t win. Shouldn’t have had children, mom!

Anyway. Over the years I have found new ways to have Nutella and Peanut Butter in a classier way that won’t make my mother want to kill herself. It’s so easy, and so much more convenient than hugging two jars of spread.

What You’ll Need For the Peanut Butter Cookie
- 1 cup of Peanut Butter
- 1 cup of Sugar
- 1 Egg
- 1/2 teaspoon of Baking Soda
- Pinch of Salt
- 1/2 teaspoon of Vanilla Extract

Directions

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a mixing bowl, add 1 cup of Peanut Butter and 1 cup of Sugar,and mix till it’s all combined.
  3. Add in the Baking Soda, the salt, the teaspoon of Vanilla Extract, and then the egg. Mix well if you want the cookies to taste delicious.
  4. Lay out a baking sheet on a pan, and take the cookie mix, roll into tablespoon sized balls (depending on how big you like your cookies), and place on the baking sheet. Note: The cookies expand a lot.
  5. Bake for 10 minutes.
  6. When the cookies come out, let them cool for 2 minutes, and then use a cookie cutter (or in my case, a glass) so that the cookies are all evenly shaped.
  7. Let it cool some more until the cookies are soft but don’t fall apart when you pick them up.
  8. Take two cookies, spread some Nutella between them, and eat.


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The Best Spaghetti With Meat Sauce

If you were a regular reader of Starbucks Break, you will have noticed some changes – mainly that everything has been deleted and this blog looks brand new. Why did I do it? Well, because I finished school, joined the work force and ran out of things to rant about. Apparently, it’s frowned upon to talk about your work and your coworkers – what’s that about, really?

I hope you enjoy the new Starbucks Break. I promise it will be still funny and awesome because let’s face it, I will never stop being socially awkward – like today, I went to go pee, and this girl in the next stall, I guess she wasn’t aiming for the toilet, or her pee hole was exceptionally large, but as I went to unbutton my pants, I saw a small pool of pee forming beside my feet, and I ran out of the stall. Like what the F – are you serious? How does a grown woman (and I know she was grown woman because she was wearing stiletto heels) not know how to aim for the toilet? YOU’RE SITTING DOWN! And that y’all, is why I will never pee in a public bathroom again.

Anyway. Onto my post – I don’t even know if I can properly talk about food right now.

I don’t know if there’s anything more delicious than spaghetti with meat sauce. I mean, it’s so easy and so flavourful, and if you’re anything like me and don’t even have the time to properly shower in the morning, spaghetti is such a good option. No wait, it’s the best option.

You’ll Need:
- Garlic
- Half an onion (more if you like more onion), diced
- Mushrooms (I used small Portobello Mushrooms), sliced
- Ground Beef
- Some sort of Marinara Sauce
- Salt
- Chili flakes
- Steak spice (I know it sounds weird, but trust me on this). If you don’t know what steak spice is, it includes: paprika, black pepper, salt, granulated garlic, granulated onion, crushed coriander, dill, and red pepper flakes

Directions:

  1. In a pot, cook the spaghetti in water, and make sure you add salt.
  2. In a separate pan, add some olive oil (or really, whatever oil you have – butter works fine also), and throw in 2 cloves of garlic, the half an onion, 1 teaspoon of chili flakes (you can add more), and about a tablespoon of steak spice (you can add more of this also). Let the onions get soft and kind of sexy.
  3. Add in the ground beef, and the mushrooms, and as much Marinara Sauce that will make you happy. I don’t usually like  when my spaghetti is drenched in sauce, so I add just enough to cook the meat and the vegetables, and then a little bit more when I pour the spaghetti into the sauce. Reduce to medium heat, and just leave it for a couple minutes, and by that I mean, at least 10. Let the meat and the vegetables soak in the spices and the marinade.
  4. When the spaghetti is cooked the way you like it, strain it, and do not under any circumstances try to run the spaghetti through cold water. Let it remain kind of starchy- starchy helps the sauce stay on, and baby, you want the sauce to stay on.
  5. Pour the spaghetti into the sauce, add a little bit more Marinade/steak spice if you’d like, taste, and have a little party in your mouth.


Don’t even try to tell me that doesn’t make your mouth water.

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One Day I’ll Take Photos For Brochures

If there’s one thing I love about Montreal, it’s their art community. Every year, on certain buildings in the city, they allow graffiti artists to display their creativity. At the end of the year, they paint over it, and allow for the next batch of artists to paint. It’s awesome!

Here’s my favourite from this week:

You know, the city of Montreal should really hire me to make brochures for Montreal tourism.  I’d be great at it.  I recently did some brochure design on overnightprints.com – you know cause I ordered both business cards and postcards from them, and they were pretty awesome,  except instead of actually creating my own designs I used photos.  I was a bit skeptical, because seriously, how often have you ordered photos for printing online and they’ve arrived looking like someone had left them outside for a week and your grandma’s face had dropped to her knees they were so badly printed?  Really, it happened.  Anyway, they arrived and were equally as awesome as the postcards and business cards.  I was so impressed.  So, you hear me, Montreal?  I want to design your brochures and I want to save you money while doing it!

 

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