So I was going to write an introduction for my guestblogger this week, Ania from Peppered Hearts, but found this e-mail, and decided to post it instead, because it’s awesome (and makes me feel good about myself):
So anyway…
Texting sucks. Sending messages to a guy who’s probably peeing or making out with some girl sucks even more. I don’t understand why it’s now the best way to communicate. I don’t want to wait for you to finish wiping to finally reply to the message I sent you two hours ago. I don’t want to stress over whether or not I have service or if my phone is acting stupid again. I want a phone call! Even prisoners get a phone call.
But then I think back to the days when all we had were landlines and telephones that plugged into walls. I remember the days of taking bubble baths and dragging the telephone in with me, electrocution be damned. Of soaking in the bubbles and hoping the phone would ring. The hours I’d sit on my bed, phone perched beside me, and cross my fingers. Back when I’d yell at my parents for daring to touch the phone. Seriously. I was waiting for someone important to call. Forget about your business call, Daddy. I’ve got a BOYFRIEND.
And then the call would come and it’d be awkward. So we’d double-team it. I’d call one friend who’d call the boy and there’d be two of us on the phone with him, ready to fill any pause with girly chatter.
I shudder to imagine the days before telephones, when letters were actually used to communicate and the telegram was a big deal. Can you picture yourself at home while your boyfriend was off fighting in some war thousands of miles away and all you had was a measly piece of paper that would probably end up half crossed out by some over zealous censor?
Maybe texting isn’t so bad. That is, until I glance over at my phone to check for the 1,517 time that it hasn’t received a new message in the last ten minutes. Even while looking, knowing there isn’t anything there because it’s on vibrate and the vibrate is so strong it’s like a freaking earthquake. And a red light comes on when I get a message and hello, nothing at all is blinking because some people have lives and better things to do than text me.
And this isn’t even taking into account Facebook stalking, which we all do even if you’re not man enough to admit it. I check my Facebook like people check the stock market. And I’m not even on there half as much as some people I know. But when I am online, I make good use of my time.
The beauty of Facebook chat is that it shows you who’s online at the same time as you. The ugly part of Facebook chat is that it shows everyone just how little of a life you have as you sit clicking through your ex-boyfriend’s current girlfriend’s 528 pictures. Or it let’s you “friend” a girl who might be talking to the same guy you’re talking to but maybe, just maybe, they’re just friends. And then you read through their wall conversations and walk away completely ashamed and relieved because while her wall posts are an ode to his perfection, he’s pretty nonchalant about the whole thing. Then you realize that she probably did the exact same thing to you and you quickly check out your own conversation with him to make sure you don’t come off as desperate. Luckily, most of the conversation between you and him has occurred through text messaging, which is why you’ve somehow ended up with your phone in your hand and your inbox open because in the middle of creeping on Facebook, a message arrived. The message arrived.
And all it says is “hey”. Someone remind me why I waited all this time for one syllable? Yet you can’t help but want to reply because at least he thought of you enough to write that stupid word, right?
Wrong.
While texting and Facebook stalking and all the other technological advances should make getting to know someone easier, they don’t. They create more opportunities to make awkward conversation about things you already know. It’s like you’ve already gone past the first date, the getting to know you bit that’s the most fun, and skipped to the boring part where nothing is new anymore. What’s the need for face to face interaction when you can have Facebook to Facebook chat? There’s no need to ask his favorite movies… you can just pull them up on Facebook. All those little nuances that go into flirting disappear when all you have to do is open a browser or your cellphone. And that makes me sad. Which is why I am now resolving that the next guy I want to get to know, I won’t Facebook creep or text. I’m going to try something new. Conversation.
If you’d like to guest-post for Dating Wednesdays, please email me at starbucksbreak@gmail.com
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